In our quest to find something between a boot camp (5am mountain runs don’t appeal) and a spiritual retreat (neither does chanting ‘om’ all day), we decided upon Thalasso Hotel El Palasiet in Benicassim. It seemed to offer the perfect mix of a structured exercise timetable, dietician-supervised meals and seafront Spa relaxation. On that front, we were not disappointed.

As there were so few, let me get the niggly negatives out the way first. Having been asked to complete a medical questionnaire pre-stay, I wasn’t so happy to receive a generic ‘welcome to your weight loss retreat’ letter upon arrival. At no point had I mentioned I wanted to lose weight. As time went by it became clear weight loss was what most people were there for – so I guess that letter was accurate on most occasions. Our nutritionist appointment wasn’t until the next day and the medical appointment was almost forgotten until we re-read our joining instructions and requested one two days later. These appointments should ideally be done on arrival so you can start the nutrition on the right track and get the best ‘before’ and ‘after’ interpretation. I could also gripe that the fitness sessions (gym, aqua gym) were far too light but, again, they did suit the majority.

Here’s where it’s reasonable to point out that the average El Palasiet guest is to the senior end of the age spectrum. The Spa is also open to external clients and they too are retiree-plus. It’s wonderful to see their commitment to improving their health and wellbeing but, if you’re lucky enough to be more youthful, expect to have to put in your own gym time and fitness programme to supplement the timetabled sessions – if you want the best results. Finally, the ‘silent’ gym was awkward to say the least. I have never been in a gym where you feel self-conscious if you let out a grunt of exertion or jump too loud on the laminate wood floor (which undoubtedly should be rubberised or some such).

The positives were plentiful. The staff were by and large utterly charming (especially reception, Spa, nutritionist, doctor) and while some have been disappointed at their lack of English, we both are fortunate enough to speak relatively good Spanish, so no problem. The room, albeit a standard, was huge, spotlessly clean, well-equipped, bright, quiet, and with a comfortable two-metre bed – heaven. The food was beautifully prepared and presented – fresh and healthy. The location is unparalleled, overlooking the sea, and on the doorstep of the Via Verde, an easy-to-follow coastal 5.7km walking/cycling route from Benicassim to Oropesa full of gorgeous views and pretty watchtowers – take a bicycle from reception and off you go. Finally, the building is classical, tasteful and elegant, and the Spa and grounds immaculately maintained – with an almost sub-tropical feel.

We both stuck rigidly to the programmed menus and activities and lost weight/centimetres and toned up – impressive for just four nights. If we cannot find a better halfway house between boot camp and spiritual retreat, with a slightly higher intensity fitness programme, we will for sure return to El Palasiet.